I’m here to call you out.
Writing is as old as human civilization itself. It’s in every part of your daily life, but you know what remains a mystery to most? Writers themselves. The architects of little and massive worlds, the scribes who sit behind computers and carry on a millennia-old tradition, usually for little to no reward. Okay, let me not bore you with some eulogy. You don’t understand writers because of the myths surrounding them and why they do what they do. Let’s take a dive into a few of these misconceptions. I can bet you hold a few of these beliefs yourself.
Let me purge you of thy sins against knowledge.
1. “Writers love writing for free.”
No. Mcnoppity no. Hell no. I HATE this myth. Look, just because you love something doesn’t mean you have to feel bad for wanting to get paid for doing it. This myth is absolute trash, and everyone who pushes it deserves to get paper cuts on every finger. Fresh cuts every single day. Money may not be the ultimate reason, but it’s a damn good reason to get in front of a PC and type your days away. Even if it were, how is that different from manufacturing cars so you can sell them and make a profit?
Your casual assumption that we should always be happy to write does the writing community a disservice. It has led to so many potentially great writers becoming completely disillusioned and leaving the craft so they can do something that pays the bills. We love getting paid. I love getting paid. The next time you run into a writer, reach for your wallet. I mean it.
2. “You’re too talkative to be a writer.”
Oh boy. The obsession with brooding thinkers is crazy at this point. And I blame this on movies, TV shows, and, ironically, novels. You expect writers to be silently vibing at parties, that is if they can suppress their anti-social nature long enough to hang around with the hoi polloi. But that just ain’t it, yo. I can assure you that we can be seen and heard in any room. At the same time, I get it. The less socially adept we seem, the more everyone else seems cooler in comparison. This would make you feel super comfortable mocking writers about their social skills or lack thereof.
A lot of writers aren’t quiet people and a lot of quiet people aren’t writers. So, if you are thinking of being a scribe, don’t bother purchasing gorilla glue for your lips. There’s nothing more fun than being loud and blunt, yet thoughtful and perceptive. Besides, conversations shape a lot of the writing you read. It’s just that we love interesting conversations, which aren’t exactly an everyday occurrence. If the subject shifts to something I love talking about, you can bet your ass I’ll be chirping all night.
Every profession has introverts, ambiverts, and extroverts. Writing is no exception.
3. “You have to go through the most to be a good writer.”
The curse of TV and movies strikes again. Writers have to be tortured souls because there’s no way they haven’t seen the worst and still get to express themselves the way they do, right?
Actually, no.
Turning pain into art is a fascinating theme, the modus operandi of true creatives, and countless biographies of writers lend credibility to this notion. But let’s get one thing straight- the pain will not make you a good writer. A lot of artists have fallen for this line of thinking to justify self-sabotage and harmful habits.
Just hold up for a minute.
I can tell you this: more often than not, we create despite and not because of our circumstances. When you’re going through depression (not to be confused with feeling depressed), writing a sentence is more daunting than a death sentence. Writing is more of a silver lining than anything if you’re going through some real shit. Three years of alcohol abuse didn’t yield the best writing of my life- they cost me more than I can ever account for. I lost time and money. And when I could write in that state...it wasn’t all that enjoyable, as I could barely feel present in the moment. Some of that writing was trash, if I do say so myself.
Pain can prompt us to develop more empathy and thus express ourselves in a more authentic, relatable, and nuanced way. Or not. At the end of the day, writing is a craft. And a good craftsman needs to be in a headspace that allows him to function. If anything, encourage your writer friends to work through whatever is going on in their lives. Neglecting one’s mental health can bear grave consequences. A self-destructing writer isn’t a misunderstood genius; he’s just another human in need of help. Urgent help.
If you’re reading this, it means a writer is still in a state where they can create. That’s no thanks to pain.
4. “Writers insert themselves into everything they write."
When writers are quizzed about the inspiration behind the main characters in their works, they are usually expected to cite themselves. In reality, our lives are rarely as fun (or toxic) as those of the characters we create. At some point, y’all just have to understand that you’re not getting a peek into our lives whenever you get to read our work. Sometimes the poem is simply great because I wrote it well (in your opinion at least) and if you connect with it, that’s a win for both of us.
Close your eyes and picture a reality where I have to sleep with everything with a pulse and try out every drug known to man before I can come up with believable degenerate characters and hedonistic storylines. That sounds like something a sane writer would do. Yeah, real-life events inspire a lot of writing. But most writers, myself included, would like to believe that we are not everything we write about.
A little thing called research is usually enough in most cases. Sitting down, using Google and YouTube. Watching documentaries and movies. Recording observations and making mental notes. That way, I don’t have to murder you so I can write a fantastic short story about a serial killer moonlighting as a writer. You’re not worth the labor, guilt, and prison sentence.
Sometimes I’m my words. Sometimes I’m not. But what’s for sure: It’s just writing.
5. "Writers are perfectionists."
As for this one, it’s all about the implied meaning. Most people who say this aren’t giving a compliment; they are poking fun at our dedication. Insisting on doing a job well isn’t necessarily being a perfectionist. Yeah, some writers want to do the job too well and that’s not a crime. The crime is not doing the job at all because the planets are yet to align. And the majority of writers aren’t really about that. That falls to the editors- the antiheroes who walk so we can run.
In any case, ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!
6. “Writers are narcissists.”
I don’t know who is more narcissistic, the person who writes a novel for the world to consume or the person thinking the novel describes their life and theirs only?
7. “Writers are born with the ability to write.”
People who believe this probably think superheroes exist. Ever watched The Boys? Yeah, turns out nobody is that special. Of course, some people have a bit of an edge in terms of how they think and learn techniques, but writing ability is more nurture than nature. I’d like to believe I came out of the womb with a pen and pad ready in my tiny palms (that would be a serious issue for Mom during labor) but nah. There is so much involved in the making of a writer, and genetics don’t play a major role. Also, most people figured out they could write well and/or had the desire to write well into their adulthood. That doesn’t sound like nature at work. That said, if you desire to pick up the cross and follow us, sure. Just don’t moan too much. Nobody has the natural ability to put up with a moaner unless it’s under more…spicy circumstances.
8. “Writers suck at love.”
Can I borrow your girl for the weekend? I just want to test something. She’ll be back in one piece, I promise.
Why the love life of a writer should be singled out for scrutiny, I know not. But then, when you consider how many people believe their romantic fortunes are tied to their star signs…it’s not that surprising. I mean, this myth has allowed creatives, in general, to get away with a lot of toxic behavior. The truth is, it all comes down to who you are as a person and not your passion in life. But well, let’s not unpack this one too much. I still need to be able to make my next girlfriend believe I can’t help being a shitty boyfriend because I tap computer keys for a living.
It is what it is. Keep believing what you heard, people. Me being single doesn’t make me the best defender of writers’ relationship credentials. It’s not like many relationships are so unnecessary that being alone is much better, right?
Humans generally suck at love. To assume a guy who can say the sweetest things on cue is the worst at love is…a bit harsh.
9. “Stories and poems reflect the writers’ deepest wishes.”
No. I for one don’t want absolute power over everything and everyone. It’s just a cool idea. And an extremely dark reality for people who don’t like me. Believe it or not, some people do feel very strongly about me. Waste of energy. The worst I can do is write about you and that’s actually an honor if millions get to hear about you one day, you plebeian.
10. “Writers struggle with letting go and moving on.”
You may have gotten fooled by two things; a good memory and mad writing skills. And if you think retaining vivid memories of an event means you’re not yet over it, you don’t understand writers at all. We are not ashamed of our experiences; we exploit them. And in the end, you get good writing. So stop calling us simps who live in the past. It’s not living in the past. It’s called bringing the past to life. And if you once felt alive in the past, is there anything wrong with that?
Now that I think about it, I see what’s going on: you’re afraid our words reopen old wounds. Your old wounds. Projection or the pot calling the kettle black? Food for thought. I mean, I don’t imagine Adele crying when “Hello” comes on. You’re the one crying because you just reminisced about that person you had your first time with and then they blocked you two weeks after the deed. Tears are good business for us. Even if it means you go to sleep thinking that the sorrow is mutual. It usually isn’t. Just kidding. We cry together.
That’s all. Here’s to everyone becoming less stupid about the myths surrounding the writing community. We love you regardless.
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